What are you living for?

What are you living for?
My mentor asked me this question years ago. Honestly, I had never been asked a question like this. I didn’t really know what to say. Was he referring to a goal? Was it a spiritual question about my faith? I initially said what most people I ask do, things like my family, my Wife, to be a good Christian, etc. He listened patiently for several minutes as I reached for the answer I thought he was looking for. “Steven”, he said, “I asked you what you are living for. What makes you think that is a morality question?” I sat there, stymied. It was at this time that he shared a lesson with me that I have never forgotten.
Being a strong Christian, my mentor would frequently make reference to scripture. He would often joke that “everyone should have a Bible. It will teach you a lot of great stuff, and it’s the best deal in town. You buy one book and they give you 65 free!” He directed me to the story of the rich young ruler in the book of Luke. In the story, the ruler asks Jesus what he needs to do to gain eternal life. Many of us know from Sunday school class, that Jesus tells the ruler to give up all his possessions to the poor and that the answer saddens him because he is a very rich man. It is in this chapter that we find the verse “it is easier for a camel to go thru the eye of a needle than for the rich man to enter Heaven”. This story and this verse are two of the most mis-understood in all of the Bible. Many people have justified poverty because of them. What is often not realized is the verse isn’t talking about money; rather it is talking about money as a commodity, i.e. an ideal. Any other commodity or ideal that one can love could have easily been put in money’s place. The story of Abraham is a great example. Instead of giving up money, Abraham was asked to give up Isaac.
The story of the rich young ruler was actually shared as an offspring from another parable earlier in this same chapter; that of the tax collector and the Pharisee. In this tale, a tax collector (old IRS agent) and a Pharisee (very staunchly religious person) went to the temple to pray. How they pray is very different. For the Pharisee (very staunchly religious person), he prays a very detailed prayer, verbally displaying a long list of good deeds such as tithing, being honest and faithful. The tax collector (old IRS agent) on the other hand doesn’t come to the table with any of this and herein lays the significant difference. Versus praying an eloquent prayer, the tax collector simply lowered his head while pounding his chest and loudly cried out, “God, be merciful to me a sinner.” WOW!
Now, be honest. Which one do you think got the answer he was looking for? Was it the lowly IRS guy who goes around taking high taxes from the population for a living? Or was it the very straight, religion abiding good deed doer? Most will say the one doing all the good deeds right (i.e. the Pharisee or the rich young ruler). In today’s terms, this would be similar to the person who serves their community, goes to church every Sunday, volunteers, works hard, coaches little league and serves on their kids PTA board. Obviously, our culture often promotes doing the good deeds and being a “well rounded“ person. I believe we should all strive to live an honest life, work hard, serve our community, etc. That is the reason Angie and I volunteer in our local community and give money. However, my point to you today is there is a large amount of good, hard working people out there that are broke, unhappy, and not living their true God-given potential. You see, in reality, it was the tax collector who was granted his request and NOT the Pharisee or the rich young ruler! In this lies one of the Bible’s greatest lessons that if applied, will create incredible success in your life.
What was the difference? Why did the tax collector get what he wanted and the “good” guys didn’t? Easy. The tax collector had a WHITE HOT BURNING DESIRE and he didn’t share it in a mild manner. Scripture says he literally physically pounded his chest and cried out, like an infant crying to be held in the middle of the night. He wasn’t going to stop until he got what he came for. Single minded focus. No distractions. Nothing else mattered.Here’s my point. What vision do you have burning inside of you? Are you single minded on this purpose? Are you willing to pound your chest and cry out loudly to the heavens to be granted your goal? In other words, are you willing to live for your vision?
This past week, I had the privilege of spending time with one of the most influential persons in my life, Dr. Doug Johnston. Doug is the founder of an organization called ICRD. The reason that Doug has such an impact on me is because Doug is a man who knows what he is living for. He is an expert in national security, foreign policy and diplomacy. Doug walked away from academia at Harvard University to, as he puts it, “leave the think-tank to create a do-tank.” His vision was to create an organization that would go where the U.S. government could not in an attempt to bring peace to some of the hottest areas of conflict around the world and ICRD has been wildly successful. In Sudan, where civil war had killed millions, Doug and ICRD were able to help create peace between Christians and Muslims. Many of us may recall the 21 Koreans that were taken hostage by the Taliban last year. ICRD was directly instrumental through their relationships in helping the hostages to be released. Today, their work continues in Pakistan, Afghanistan and elsewhere. As Americans and parents with children who will inherit our world, we should be thankful for people like Doug Johnston.
How can he accomplish so much so fast? Because Doug understands a principle that the most successful people in the world know. Doug has a BHAP and a BHAG and he is willing to live for it.
What in the world are BHAPs and BHAGs?
BHAP and BHAG stand for Big Hairy Audacious Purpose and Big Hairy Audacious Goal. For me, my BHAP is to educate, inspire and move others to go for and achieve their BHAG. My BHAG is to do it thru training, mentoring and development of leaders around the world. For Doug Johnston its peace and reconciliation. For Martin Luther King it was equal right for African Americans. For Jack Welch it was creating the world’s greatest company (GE). For Lance Armstrong it was becoming the greatest cyclist in history, winning the Tour De France more times than anyone and nothing could stop him…even cancer! When you truly identify your BHAP and BHAG, you will be unstoppable as well.
Aren’t I supposed to have balance in my life in order to be happy?
You tell me. The answer’s in the book. Take a look at the rich, young ruler. We’re talking about a cool guy. He’s the kind of guy any father would gladly see his daughter marry. Not only is he young and very rich, but he has kept all Ten Commandments since his youth. Now that’s pretty impressive. I’m a pretty good guy, but I haven’t kept all Ten Commandments my whole life. Yet when asked to give away his riches he refuses and is very saddened. The point is that all of the deeds didn’t do it for him, and the value he had placed around money stopped him from receiving what he really wanted. You see, balance can be the same as money. If your dream is to own your business, become a millionaire, serve in the mission fields of Africa, start a non-profit, volunteer, whatever it may be if you’re not willing to sacrifice your commodities and ideals it “ain’t gonna happen”! I see it all the time in my business. Someone I’m mentoring tells me they want financial freedom. I coach them on how to make it happen but because they’re not willing to leave the comfort zone of their house, or family, or time in front of the TV it never happens. You may have to do what Jim Rohn calls living in a season of imbalance for a short time. I can promise you, when I was building my business, I didn’t have time off. Yet, this morning when my wife and I took my little one to school, her teacher made a comment at how nice it is that mommy and daddy bring her every day. I am able to do that long term today because I was willing to live for my dream and give up certain things for temporal time periods. I submit to you today the most impactful people the world has ever seen lived very unbalanced lives. Not only that but stop and take a look at the person telling you to live a balanced life. Nine times out of ten they are broke, unhappy and unfulfilled. You have greatness inside of you but you have to bring it out and it will not happen while worrying about balancing. Before too long, balancing becomes as money was to the rich young ruler and it keeps you out of the promise land.
What if I’ve already become successful Steven? Shouldn’t I sit back and enjoy it?
One of my favorite movies is Rocky 3, starring Sylvester Stallone. As a kid my Dad and I would watch all of the Rocky movies. We can all cheer a character like Rocky. He is grass-roots, a true American hero. In Rocky 3, Rocky is riding high, living the good life as the champion. He soaks up every minute while his manager Micky encourages him to stop paying attention to the fact that he’s a champion and to start training. Of course, we know Rocky dismisses this advice as worrisome and goes on to be knocked out by Clubber Lane (Mr. T) in the 2nd round. The movie continues when Rocky’s former rival, Apollo Creed, steps in and tells Rocky to get back that “eye of the tiger.” Rocky succeeds in getting his single-minded focus back again, and even though not a great fighter goes on to pound Clubber Lane and win the title back. You may have had success once. Take a breather, be proud of what you’ve accomplished, thankful for what you have and get back in the game. What we don’t use we lose and besides you’re gifting is not for you, it’s for the rest of the world anyway. Can you imagine if Billy Graham had said in 1970, “Well Ruth, we’ve accomplished a lot in the last 20 years. I think I’ll hang my hat up.” Don’t I have to live for my kids and spouse to be a good family man/woman?
We can’t successfully live for someone else while neglect our own life’s BHAP. I see this most often with parents. I love my two children more than life itself. However, even as a parent, you have something undone within you. We’ve all seen the parent at sporting events who is obviously living their life vicariously through their child. This always backfires. While we all want our children to be successful, just because you’re 30-40-50-60 or beyond, you still have a specific purpose for your life. Besides, how can we expect our kids to live for a purpose if we’re teaching them otherwise? “What parents do in moderation, children do in excess.” Remember the number one way we learn is by observing. Monkey see, monkey do. If you want to see your children become successful, show them someone who knows their purpose and is living for it every day.
In closing, the question I have for you today is, do you desire to make an impact that will be felt for years after you are gone? I know the answer to that, it’s a yes and it should be. You have a specific purpose. Get out your inspiration detector and find out what it is for you that gets your juices flowing. If you’re not sure, talk to friends and loved ones. Ask them what they think your life’s BHAP should be? The BHAP always leads to the BHAG. The biggie to brace yourself for is this: your BHAP must be the same the creator made you for. Take the time to find it. You may have to dig and it may not make itself known instantly but it’s there. Then, get single minded and focused. Make the decision what you are going to live for and then go for it. The road may be tough. It may start with nights and weekends, after work hours. Steve Jobs started Apple in his parent’s garage. I started my business part-time on nights and weekends after long days cleaning other people’s swimming pools 6 days a week. If I can do it, YOU CAN DO IT. What great thing were you made for? Zig Ziglar said it best years ago, “the chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want the most for what you want now.” How many more years have to go by before you decide to start living for the thing that you were made for? How do you know if you’re not living for your life’s BHAP? The number one indicator is a restlessness within your heart. Do you know that feeling? I know I do. 90% of the population doesn’t know their BHAP and won’t live for it. My suggestion to you is to walk away from the 90% and join the 10% who do. I’m going. You and I can walk side by side together. And if you’re unsure, just remember the old Scottish Proverb, “be content while you’re living, for you’re a long time dead.” Remember, all things are possible to him that believes. Don’t grow weary in well doing. I believe in you, now it’s time for you to believe in yourself.
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You are AWESOME!!!
Steven