Yesterday on my facebook wall, I posted a status update that said, in short, Steven is looking for 1 person in a particular city(s) to mentor to a certain level of income. Responses flooded in and one in particular stood out, from a young lady who asked, "how does a mentor make a difference?" WOW! This caused me to stop and think for a moment. To me, mentoring is a part of daily life, but this question caused me to remember that for some, the concept of a mentor is be unclear because they have not had the blessing of a true mentoring relationship. While the concept of mentoring is detailed, here are 3 simple, yet powerful things a mentor does.
1. A Mentor Knows The Way-there are two types of leaders in life. My mentor calls them tour guide leaders and travel agent leaders. The difference? If you go to a travel agent today to inquire about a trip to Paris, the travel agent can show you pictures, maybe even take you to a brochure and read the reviews of hotels, excursions online. However, they haven't BEEN THERE. A tour guide leader, however, can tell you exactly where to stay, where to go and what to do because they have lived it. A tour guide leader will suggest you stay at the Hotel George V right off the champs-élysées, to have a louis XIII in the library bar, but not to have breakfast because its overpriced, to attend the 9pm show at Crazy Horse, versus the earlier one, to make sure to stop by Angelina's after touring The Louvre to have the dreamy hot chocloate(make sure to bring extra cash because you'll want to take as much home as you can fit) and perhaps how to find the largest selection of Ferre at the store on Rue du Faubourg Saint-Honoré versus elsewhere. How can one mentor another in an area they haven't traveled? If you're in the ministry, find someone who has built the type of ministry you desire to have. If you're a mom, find someone who's children behave the way you'd like yours too. Offer to take her to lunch. You'll be amazed at what you will learn over a $10 lunch. If its business, find someone who is already where you want to be. Don't be like the average person who seeks advice and counsel from family and friends who don't have what they are desiring. Its like the guy who asks his broke friend what he thinks he should do with his finances. I don't know about you, but I don't want to know what my broke friends do with their money, because I don't want to be broke! However, as the old saying goes, "do what someone does and you'll have what they have." If you desire financial freedom, find someone who is already there and ask for their help. You'll be amazed at their willingness to share.
2. A Mentor Shows The Way-just because one knows the way isn't enough. They must be willing to show the way which involves an investment of time. Generally, you will find the more successful someone happens to be, the more likely they are to give freely of their time and knowledge. However, that isn't always the case. The first step is to find someone who knows the way and then to discover if they're willing to show the way. Personally, this is one of the greatest joys in life. Maybe its because I was blessed with such a giving mentor in Brad Hager, but to me I can't imagine life without rich, meaningful mentoring relationships. ***A word of caution: do NOT ask a mentor to show you the way if you're not willling to implement the advice. The greatest disrepsect one can show to a mentor is a lack f willingness to put the coaching into action. Before you approach a potential mentor, you need to ask a serious question of yourself, "am I TRULY serious about being mentored?" If the answer is maybe, don't approach the mentor. You're better off to save the question for a later time when you know you're ready.
3. A Mentor Goes The Way-A true mentor knows that the journey is never done because the journey itself is the true blessing. Recently, a mentor entered my life named Bill Farley. Mr. F(as I like to call him) has been incredibly successful in business. Having started from scratch, he built a company to $5.5 Billion in sales with over 65,000 employees worldwide. In business, that is almost unbelieveable. In his 60s today, many people in his shoes would sail off into the distance on their yacht, but not Mr. F. Today, he is actively engaged in the mentoring process and the building the business that he calls his greatest masterpiece yet. Now thats inspiring! Anotherwords, Mr. F is a mentor who knows the way, shows the way and is still GOING the way.
We all have the potential to mentor, and we all have the need to be mentored. Whether you are a parent, a pastor or a business leader, remember that a river can not rise above its source. Mentoring is one of the greatest joys that life has to offer, but it also takes commitment.
A quick reminder that if you find the Prosperity Diet a blessing to your life, share it with others and sign up for our free newsletter at www.steventhompson-mentor.com. I'd also be happy to be your friend on Facebook-just send me a request. You'll find me under steven@steventhompsononline.com.
Lastly, maybe a mentoring relationship isn't something you've been privvy too prior to now. I challenge you to open your mind to the idea. The impact can be truly life changing.
For those in Denver and Mexico City I look forward to mentoring with you this week!!!
Stevie Wonder
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
Turning temporary defeat into success
Prosperity. Success. Happiness. Inner peace. Philanthropy. Wealth. What do all of these terms have in common? Besides there universal appeal to the majority of us, the other characteristic they have in common is that they are all born from what most people would call failure.
I am convinced that we have become a culture that is so engrained with a fear of failure that the dreams and visions of an entire generation are supressed.
In our quest for the prosperous life that impacts us the most is our lack of understanding of what failure truly is. Here are 3 points to ponder today that if you will internalize, will set you on course to realizing your dreams.
1. Temporary defeat is NOT failure. Contrary to popular belief, failure is NOT permanent. Instead what most of us would consider to be failure is in reality temporary defeat. Failure is not permanent until we decide it so. Many of you have read the blog post where I describe the harsh reality of walking away from a previous business where our partners began operating in unethical ways. We walked away from 8 years of hard work and a 7 figure annual income because we would not compromise our integrity. Alot of onlookers described this business as a failure, but I know differently. You see, after 6 months of reflection and study, my team embarked on a new venture a little over 30 days ago, and it has been the greatest business experience thus far of my career. So much so, that I'm now asking myself the question, "why didn't I do this 2-3 years ago?" I can tell you why. Fear of failure, defeat. What do you know in your heart today that you need to move on from-a job, a relationship, a habit-thats you've been afraid to take action upon? Many times this opens up the opportunity for a new level of satisfaction and happiness. Remember, we have to clean out the garage BEFORE we can put the new car in!
2. Living in a constant fear of failure manifests the fear itself. This is the craziest part of all! Most of you have seen The Secret movie. The law of attraction ladies and gentleman is REAL. That which we fear most we actually attract into our life by our daily habits and actions. I have a friend who is a businessman. He is constantly worried about spending to much money and working to hard in his business. Because of this, he constantly operates right above the mediocre line. He never achieves what he is capable of. People who are much less knowledgeable make much more money than he does. It is really sad to see, because this has been the case his entire life. Remember the words of Henry Van Dyke, "courage is the standing army of the soul which keeps it from conquest, pillage and slavery." Nothing worthwhile will ever be accomplished without RISK of temporary defeat.
2. Temporary defeat is your ally. Everyone of us have experienced the sting of defeat. Beginning at an early age, we learn how it feels to be not be selected for the team, to be turned down by the girl or boy that is the object of our affection, or finding a school subject particuarly hard. I am convinced that our educational system has created a nation that believes that defeat, or failure, is bad. When in reality it is how we learn. Almost everyday, as my 4 year old makes mistakes, has accidents, etc as any 4 year old does, I am quick to explain to her that mistakes, indeed, ARE HOW WE LEARN. I remind her of this time and again, because as a human being, she will be making mistakes and experiencing defeat for the rest of her life. For many of us, we were raised the opposite. To suffer defeat, make a mistake, whatever-we were influenced to believe that it was bad, that perhaps there was something wrong with us. Absolute HOGWASH!!! Parents you have the opportunity to reprogram your children. Remind them today that as they fail, they are learning so they can become stronger the next time. Remember the timeless words of Napoleon Hill, "every failure will teach you a lesson that you need to learn if you will keep your eyes and ears open and be willing to be taught. Every adversity is usually a blessing in disguise. Without reverses and temporary defeat, you would never know the sort of metal of which you are made."
One more comment to those who are parents. The greatest parenting principle is the law of modeling. Our kids do what we do, not what we say. How can we encourage our kids to not allow the fear of failure to run their lives when we allow it to run ours?
To quote Hill again, "a person is half whipped the minute he/she begins to feel sorry themself, or to spin an alibi which which they would explain away their defects." You are created for greatness. You are a PERFECT TEN. Be willing to go for the dream within your heart today, whatever that may be and remember the infamous words of Disraeli who said, "to believe in the heroic makes heroes".
Have an AWESOME day!!!
Steven
P.S. if you enjoy the prosperity diet, you may want to sign up for our newsletter as well. See the site for details: www.steventhompson-mentor.com
Finally, who do you know that needs this message today? Pass it on!
I am convinced that we have become a culture that is so engrained with a fear of failure that the dreams and visions of an entire generation are supressed.
In our quest for the prosperous life that impacts us the most is our lack of understanding of what failure truly is. Here are 3 points to ponder today that if you will internalize, will set you on course to realizing your dreams.
1. Temporary defeat is NOT failure. Contrary to popular belief, failure is NOT permanent. Instead what most of us would consider to be failure is in reality temporary defeat. Failure is not permanent until we decide it so. Many of you have read the blog post where I describe the harsh reality of walking away from a previous business where our partners began operating in unethical ways. We walked away from 8 years of hard work and a 7 figure annual income because we would not compromise our integrity. Alot of onlookers described this business as a failure, but I know differently. You see, after 6 months of reflection and study, my team embarked on a new venture a little over 30 days ago, and it has been the greatest business experience thus far of my career. So much so, that I'm now asking myself the question, "why didn't I do this 2-3 years ago?" I can tell you why. Fear of failure, defeat. What do you know in your heart today that you need to move on from-a job, a relationship, a habit-thats you've been afraid to take action upon? Many times this opens up the opportunity for a new level of satisfaction and happiness. Remember, we have to clean out the garage BEFORE we can put the new car in!
2. Living in a constant fear of failure manifests the fear itself. This is the craziest part of all! Most of you have seen The Secret movie. The law of attraction ladies and gentleman is REAL. That which we fear most we actually attract into our life by our daily habits and actions. I have a friend who is a businessman. He is constantly worried about spending to much money and working to hard in his business. Because of this, he constantly operates right above the mediocre line. He never achieves what he is capable of. People who are much less knowledgeable make much more money than he does. It is really sad to see, because this has been the case his entire life. Remember the words of Henry Van Dyke, "courage is the standing army of the soul which keeps it from conquest, pillage and slavery." Nothing worthwhile will ever be accomplished without RISK of temporary defeat.
2. Temporary defeat is your ally. Everyone of us have experienced the sting of defeat. Beginning at an early age, we learn how it feels to be not be selected for the team, to be turned down by the girl or boy that is the object of our affection, or finding a school subject particuarly hard. I am convinced that our educational system has created a nation that believes that defeat, or failure, is bad. When in reality it is how we learn. Almost everyday, as my 4 year old makes mistakes, has accidents, etc as any 4 year old does, I am quick to explain to her that mistakes, indeed, ARE HOW WE LEARN. I remind her of this time and again, because as a human being, she will be making mistakes and experiencing defeat for the rest of her life. For many of us, we were raised the opposite. To suffer defeat, make a mistake, whatever-we were influenced to believe that it was bad, that perhaps there was something wrong with us. Absolute HOGWASH!!! Parents you have the opportunity to reprogram your children. Remind them today that as they fail, they are learning so they can become stronger the next time. Remember the timeless words of Napoleon Hill, "every failure will teach you a lesson that you need to learn if you will keep your eyes and ears open and be willing to be taught. Every adversity is usually a blessing in disguise. Without reverses and temporary defeat, you would never know the sort of metal of which you are made."
One more comment to those who are parents. The greatest parenting principle is the law of modeling. Our kids do what we do, not what we say. How can we encourage our kids to not allow the fear of failure to run their lives when we allow it to run ours?
To quote Hill again, "a person is half whipped the minute he/she begins to feel sorry themself, or to spin an alibi which which they would explain away their defects." You are created for greatness. You are a PERFECT TEN. Be willing to go for the dream within your heart today, whatever that may be and remember the infamous words of Disraeli who said, "to believe in the heroic makes heroes".
Have an AWESOME day!!!
Steven
P.S. if you enjoy the prosperity diet, you may want to sign up for our newsletter as well. See the site for details: www.steventhompson-mentor.com
Finally, who do you know that needs this message today? Pass it on!
Monday, October 5, 2009
Live in your strength zone
In the world of self help and personal growth today, we’re all told “if you can believe it, you can achieve it”. We hear parents tell their children “set your mind to it and you can do anything”. While the intent on this type of positive reinforcement is good, it is not reality. We all have natural talents and abilities that are God-given. For example, when I was in high school, my sport of choice was football. I was a 3 year starter both-ways (meaning I started on both sides of the ball) and the team captain. I trained hard in the weight room, ate accordingly and devoted a huge amount of my life to the sport, my dream to play at the Division-1 collegiate level. In Memphis, TN where I lived, our cross town rivals were lead by an all-state offensive lineman/linebacker named Tony Williams. Tony and I were the same age and played similar positions, but Tony was a natural born D-1 player. His senior year in high school Tony played at 6’2”, 245, while my playing weight was 6’2”, 230. The difference was Tony didn’t hit the weight room all summer long... He didn’t eat like a horse like I did. He didn’t run the wind sprints and bleachers. Tony was naturally gifted at the game of getting big in a way that I was not. In other words, he had greater structure and the difference was obvious on the field. In our team’s game against one another our senior year, I remember leaving the huddle on the first play and seeing Tony directly across from me as he assumed his middle-linebacker position. I was in awe of his physical presence. He muscles were bulging thru his padded uniform. Even his calf muscles were larger than my thighs! Needless to say, I gave it everything I had from my Center position to block him, and although he didn’t get much in the way of tackles that night; it was obvious who was exhausted and who wasn’t. Fortunately, I didn’t have to bump heads with Tony while playing defense. After graduation, we both choose The University of Memphis as our collegiate and football destinations, Tony on a full-scholarship while I planned to walk on. In college, Tony continued to grow and get better. Four years later, Tony was a whopping 295 pounds defensive lineman and as wide as a truck. He was drafted by the Minnesota Vikings and went on to a very illustrious career spanning 9 years in the NFL.
While I was a talented player at the high school level, Tony was able to do things at the next two levels that I never would be able to accomplish, no matter how hard I worked. Does this mean that my life isn’t special? Of course not! It simply meant that my natural gift existed in another area. Once I found that arena, which for me turned out to be leadership, sales, marketing and building relationships, I rocketed to the top of my field. Before my 30th birthday I had built a multi-million dollar business and personally earning in excess of $100,000 per month. Now, imagine if I had taken the stance that I was going to make it as a football player and had dogmatically stuck to that decision. Where would I be today? Instead, I decided to adjust my sail and try something different. I found my niche, my strength zone, and my success exploded exponentially.
The question I pose, and challenge to you today, are you living in your strength zone? Or, are you living in someone else’s plan for you? Maybe a plan that you one time thought was right, but it’s just not panning out?
We know the detriments to investing your life into an area that isn’t your lane. The question is, how do you know if you’re in operating where you need to be? As a leader, how do I find my strength zone?
Here are a few questions to ask yourself that can help you find the answers? Take a few minutes to write down the answers to the following:
What can I do that comes easy to me that others find hard to do?
What would I want to work for even if I never got paid?
How can I take what I know and that comes easy to me and help larger numbers of people?
What do others consistently compliment me on? The key word here is consistently
Equally as important is asking the adverse question, what am I NOT good at? Where is my weak zone?
What do I not enjoy doing?
What is harder for me that is easier for others?
What are my negative habits? Are these related to my investing my time in something that is NOT in my strength zone? Sometimes negative habits are the subconscious’ way of telling us we’re not in our lane.
Take a few minutes to privately journal the answers to these questions and be brutally honest. The greatest lie we ever tell is the one we tell to ourselves. Seek a mentor you trust and ask them to review your answers, giving you straight forward feedback.
As a leader, I’ve learned that operating in our strength zone has a HUGE impact on our effectiveness when it comes to reaching our goals. Consider this story as adapted from John Maxwell’s book “Put Your Dream to the Test”
He wanted to be a conductor. However, his style was odd, to say the least. When conducting soft passages, he’d crouch down. When the music called for a crescendo, he’d leap into the air with a shout. One time he jumped to cue a dramatic passage, but the musicians didn’t respond. He’d lost track of his place and jumped too soon. The musicians often looked to the first violinist instead of to him for direction.
His memory was not very good. During a performance, he tried to conduct the orchestra thru a section of music he had instructed them to skip. When they didn’t play the passage, he stopped conducting altogether and shouted, “Stop! Wrong! That will not do! Again! Again!”
He had clumsiness about him. When he conducted for a piano concerto he had written, he tried to do it from the piano while playing and knocked candles off the piano. During another concert, he knocked over one of the choir boys.
The musicians begged him to give up his dream of becoming a great conductor. Finally he did. From then on, Ludwig van Beethoven gave up conducting and focused his attention on composing.
WOW! Can you imagine? What if Beethoven had insisted on staying a conductor? The world would have lost arguably the greatest composer of all time, and Beethoven would have missed out on finding his lane, the zone he was made for.
As a leader, you have been given a dream, a fiery passion inside your heart to do something. Remember the old saying, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.” The creator has placed something amazing inside of you. For most people, those limitations aren’t on the outside rather they reside internally. One of my favorite quotes of all time is by George Bernard Shaw, “I’m sick of all the reasonable people: they see all the reasons for doing nothing.” Now that fires me up and gets my juices flowing! One thing I’m determined in my life not to do is lead that life of quiet desperation, of being reasonable. I would say it is time to be a little unreasonable. Let’s just make sure we’re being unreasonable within our strength zone.
Finally, don’t think the strength zone is going to be without fear, trepidation or doubt. As I posted on my Facebook page not long ago,” we must learn to get move outside our comfort zones while residing in the strength zone.” That is when true magic happens.
You are worth it and you deserve it. Find your strength zone, park yourself there, and then get unreasonable and uncomfortable as often as you can! It will be fun to watch what happens and who knows, you just may impact the world.
To your success,Stevie W.
While I was a talented player at the high school level, Tony was able to do things at the next two levels that I never would be able to accomplish, no matter how hard I worked. Does this mean that my life isn’t special? Of course not! It simply meant that my natural gift existed in another area. Once I found that arena, which for me turned out to be leadership, sales, marketing and building relationships, I rocketed to the top of my field. Before my 30th birthday I had built a multi-million dollar business and personally earning in excess of $100,000 per month. Now, imagine if I had taken the stance that I was going to make it as a football player and had dogmatically stuck to that decision. Where would I be today? Instead, I decided to adjust my sail and try something different. I found my niche, my strength zone, and my success exploded exponentially.
The question I pose, and challenge to you today, are you living in your strength zone? Or, are you living in someone else’s plan for you? Maybe a plan that you one time thought was right, but it’s just not panning out?
We know the detriments to investing your life into an area that isn’t your lane. The question is, how do you know if you’re in operating where you need to be? As a leader, how do I find my strength zone?
Here are a few questions to ask yourself that can help you find the answers? Take a few minutes to write down the answers to the following:
What can I do that comes easy to me that others find hard to do?
What would I want to work for even if I never got paid?
How can I take what I know and that comes easy to me and help larger numbers of people?
What do others consistently compliment me on? The key word here is consistently
Equally as important is asking the adverse question, what am I NOT good at? Where is my weak zone?
What do I not enjoy doing?
What is harder for me that is easier for others?
What are my negative habits? Are these related to my investing my time in something that is NOT in my strength zone? Sometimes negative habits are the subconscious’ way of telling us we’re not in our lane.
Take a few minutes to privately journal the answers to these questions and be brutally honest. The greatest lie we ever tell is the one we tell to ourselves. Seek a mentor you trust and ask them to review your answers, giving you straight forward feedback.
As a leader, I’ve learned that operating in our strength zone has a HUGE impact on our effectiveness when it comes to reaching our goals. Consider this story as adapted from John Maxwell’s book “Put Your Dream to the Test”
He wanted to be a conductor. However, his style was odd, to say the least. When conducting soft passages, he’d crouch down. When the music called for a crescendo, he’d leap into the air with a shout. One time he jumped to cue a dramatic passage, but the musicians didn’t respond. He’d lost track of his place and jumped too soon. The musicians often looked to the first violinist instead of to him for direction.
His memory was not very good. During a performance, he tried to conduct the orchestra thru a section of music he had instructed them to skip. When they didn’t play the passage, he stopped conducting altogether and shouted, “Stop! Wrong! That will not do! Again! Again!”
He had clumsiness about him. When he conducted for a piano concerto he had written, he tried to do it from the piano while playing and knocked candles off the piano. During another concert, he knocked over one of the choir boys.
The musicians begged him to give up his dream of becoming a great conductor. Finally he did. From then on, Ludwig van Beethoven gave up conducting and focused his attention on composing.
WOW! Can you imagine? What if Beethoven had insisted on staying a conductor? The world would have lost arguably the greatest composer of all time, and Beethoven would have missed out on finding his lane, the zone he was made for.
As a leader, you have been given a dream, a fiery passion inside your heart to do something. Remember the old saying, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.” The creator has placed something amazing inside of you. For most people, those limitations aren’t on the outside rather they reside internally. One of my favorite quotes of all time is by George Bernard Shaw, “I’m sick of all the reasonable people: they see all the reasons for doing nothing.” Now that fires me up and gets my juices flowing! One thing I’m determined in my life not to do is lead that life of quiet desperation, of being reasonable. I would say it is time to be a little unreasonable. Let’s just make sure we’re being unreasonable within our strength zone.
Finally, don’t think the strength zone is going to be without fear, trepidation or doubt. As I posted on my Facebook page not long ago,” we must learn to get move outside our comfort zones while residing in the strength zone.” That is when true magic happens.
You are worth it and you deserve it. Find your strength zone, park yourself there, and then get unreasonable and uncomfortable as often as you can! It will be fun to watch what happens and who knows, you just may impact the world.
To your success,Stevie W.
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